July 2000

From The Desk Of The President... Thursday August 3, 2000 COOK OUT? FALL RECOGNITION DINNER? Let's Plan It! Call Antoinette with your sugguestions. 774-7029 ALSO: If you or someone you know would like to join TransSupport, or just attend a meeting, I can arrange a SAME DAY INTERVIEW. Just call me when your ready. Saturday July 8, 2000 Let's have a get-together in Portland. Maybe grab some dinner and karyoke. Call me if your interested at 774-7029 and I hope to see you then! Antoinette has come home from her recent hospitalization for a hip surgery. You can email your wishes for a speedy recovery to the following - Antoinette Pezet Member News We'd like you to join us at Channel 4, for "Sexuality & Gender In The New Millennium". Audience participation and interaction. A discussion for television (one hour long). DINNER & DRAG SHOW A Richard Lawler Production At the Radison Hotel in Portland. September 22, 2000 to start at about 5:30 - 6:00pm. Cost TBA... check back here, or contact Antoinette. I have submitted to the Board (when we had a full one) the following: My proposal is this... Waive membership fees for all board members and the TS Librarian. Reasoning... People serving TS in these positions work for their membership, and of course receive no pay. I believe that this may increase interest in these positions, and will obligate board members to participate more, to earn their keep. What do you think? Let me know at tnt@pivot.net Newsletter Recruitment Since attendance at our monthly meetings is dwindling more and more lately, and the newsletter is only being mailed quarterly now, the important role of our newsletter had become a lifeline to some, and a resource for others. With this in mind, we'd like to include some columns by one 'every issue' author, or many different people can share a certain column from one issue to the next. Here are some ideas: Physicians / Medical Professionals On TG", and maybe something like Fashion, Haircare & Cosmetics. If you have an idea for a column in our newsletter, or if you would be interested in authoring a column in our newsletter, please step up to the plate. Contact Tracy. Jean Vermette of MEGRESS In early April I was honored to receive the Great Pioneer Award from the Maine Lesbian Gay Political Alliance at their annual banquet. The award is given: "For achievement that embodies bold new vision and courageous breakthrough in our struggle for equality." Naturally, I was expected to make some kind of acceptance "speech", and I wanted to use the opportunity to educate as many in the GLB community as I could. Below is the text of that little talk, which I think is appropriate for folks in the trans community to hear as well. TEXT OF MLGPA AWARDS ADDRESS: You know, whenever I get behind a microphone like this I'm always tempted to do my Elvis Presly impersonation. But they've only given me a few minutes to speak, so what I want to do is use my time to try to get as many of you as possible to change the way you think. The Maine Gender Resource And Support Service has always given its educational presentations and workshops about the transgendered and intersexed communities to a wide variety of people from all walks of life and of all sexual orientations. In case any of you are unfamiliar with the terminology I'm using I'll tell you that being "intersexed" means being born with some combina- tion of physical or anatomical characteristics of both sexes. That's a fairly straight-forward definition. Being "transgendered" is a little more complex. When I talk about transgenderism I usually start with a fairly long explanation about gender and gender-identity in order to get people to understand that our gender identities (in other words how we each view ourselves as masculine and feminine people) are something that is completely separate and different from our sex. It's entirely possible for some male-bodied people to view themselves as more feminine than masculine, and it's entirely possible for some female- bodied people to view themselves as more masculine than feminine; and being transgendered simply means having a gender identity which is different from what people would expect you to have given the sex you were born with. Most folks think that's pretty self-evident. So then I go into another fairly long discussion and explanation in order to get folks to understand that our gender identities are also something that is completely separate from our sexual orientation. Heterosexual people can be transgendered, gay people can be trans- gendered, lesbian people can be transgendered, and bisexual people can be transgendered. There may be a little discussion about that, but come on, we're not talking about rocket science here, so eventually everyone is able to grasp and accept that concept as well. Then I start to tighten the screws. I point to myself and I say: "Look, here's the deal. I was born with a male anatomy. I didn't like it, and with the help of therapists and doctors and surgeons I made some extensive renovations, but I *was* born with a male anatomy, and I have to own that fact. Since my earliest concept of gender, my gender identity has always been that I'm feminine and I'm a girl. And from the time my sexuality began to develop, my sexual orientation has always been exclusively towards women. So," I ask them, "how are you going to define me?" Well maybe half of them, both male and female, and of a variety of sexual orientations, will look at me and go: "DUH! You're a hetero- sexual guy who thinks of himself as a woman." Then most of the other half will look at them and say, "Wait a minute. We think that she's a lesbian woman who was born with a birth defect." Then the few remaining folks will say, "No, no, no. She *was* a heterosexual guy who changed his sexual orientation and became a lesbian woman." At which point I jump in and say, "Hold on, how can you say I changed my orientation? I was sexually attracted to women before all these changes, and I'm sexually attracted to women now. My orientation hasn't changed." Usually there are a few moments of silence while everyone kind of chews on this information and tries to figure out how to make it all fit into what they've always believed before; and then I see the light bulbs start to turn on, and they get these silly little grins on their faces, because what they're thinking is: "Gosh, maybe all of this heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual stuff isn't as black and white as we thought. Maybe all of these labels that we try to attach to people and all of these boxes that we try to shove people into are more a reflection of our religious and political beliefs than they are a reflection of the reality. Maybe the reality is simply that you have one human being (who has a particular set of characteristics) who cares about and loves another human being (who has a particular set of characteristics)." And after that there are lots of questions and discussion and exploration and everyone has a wonderful time! For years now the heterosexual community and the gay/lesbian/bisexual communities have been at odds with each other over the "sexual orientation issue" because many have felt that sexual orientation differences are so great and so opposed as to be virtually irreconcil- able. Few have perceived that there might be a naturally-occurring intermediate state which could be used to bridge those differences and that would allow everyone to come together and join hands, and they have failed to realize that that bridge already exists with the transgendered and intersexed communities. The transgendered and intersexed communities have existed for at least as long as the heterosexual, gay, lesbian, and bisexual communities, and we span all of them. We are your mothers and fathers, your brothers and sisters, your spouses and your partners. Many of us have had long years of internal struggle, *not* to decide whether we are male or female, heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or bisexual, but rather to realize that we are *all* of those things, wrapped up in single person-hoods and capable of living harmonious lives regard- less of what particular combination of characteristics we might have. By our very existance, we stand as testimony to the fact that such seemingly diverse and polarized aspects of life as male and female, heterosexual and homosexual are, in fact, only two sides of the same incredibly thin coin. But, as with any bridge, we cannot be of help to you, and we cannot have any unifying capabilities, unless you *choose* to utilize us. I encourage all of you to accept us, and embrace us, and dance the life- dance with us. It is in your best interest to do so, because I think what you will find is that as the heterosexual community learns to accept and embrace *its* transgendered and intersexed members, and as the lesbian, gay, and bisexual communities learn to accept and embrace *their* transgendered and intersexed members, that the heterosexual community and the lesbian, gay and bisexual communities will have learned to accept and embrace each other. And that, after all, is what the struggle is all about, isn't it?

April 2000

From The Desk Of The President... April Orno Conference "Activism for a New Era," my TransSupport workshop will be called "Activism for Being Oneself": (You can quote the following) "In this workshop we will discuss the TG person, asking who is transgendered, why is it important for us to think of gender seperately from sexuality, and where is society going and how are each of us fitting into a society with changing gender and sexual views." Rainbow Millennium: Activism For A New Era April 7,8,9 TransSupport would like to be a part of this. I hope that MainE Gender REsource Support Sevices (Ms. Jean Vermette) would also participate. We would call our presentatuion "The Trans-Gendered Person Of The 21st Century" and address such topics and questions as, What do we mean by "Transgendered"? Who is transgendered (TG)? How does the TG process fit socially, or how is society changing - how do these changes impact the physical and mental focus of men and women with regard to their gender issues and sexuality? Why we must think and speak of gender and sex seperately. - Antoinette Pezet

Member News Several members have recently had surgeries. While we wait for permission to use their first names, here in the newsletter, our prayers go out to them for a quick recovery... at the time this was reported, we were of the understanding that all 3 surgeries were successful. Jamie G. went to Montreal for a face-lift and bone red- duction surgery. Regarding the experience Jamie says, "The comments I have are: (1) It hurts. (2) It hurts more. The day after the surgery I felt that nothing could be worth that much pain, but the memory fades and the changes stay, so now I feel happy about it. I definitely like my new looks even though my wife says there isn't enough difference to justify the cost (approx $8,000 US). It was nice staying at the residence and getting to meet folks going through GRS. Gives you a perspective of what it's really like. They also had a video showing the procedure. Doesn't look as gruesome as a facelift but it's still looks pretty gruesome. The bruising is going away and the swelling has gone down some. The pain is mostly gone, but I still have a feeling of tightness all around my face and a lack of sensation. That should get better as the months go by." Best wishes for a speedy recovery Jamie. More to come soon, hopefully. Newsletter Recruitment Since attendance at our monthly meetings is dwindling more and more lately, and the newsletter is only being mailed quarterly now, the important role of our newsletter had become a lifeline to some, and a resource for others. With this in mind, we'd like to include some columns by one 'every issue' author, or many different people can share a certain column from one issue to the next. Here are some ideas: Physicians / Medical Professionals On TG", and maybe something like Fashion, Haircare & Cosmetics. If you have an idea for a column in our newsletter, or if you would be interested in authoring a column in our newsletter, please step up to the plate. Contact Tracy. Public Awareness Push Antoinette is meeting with the Director of Public Access Channel #2, to discuss the making of a video PSA (public service announcement), and is also looking for help from one or two members, to make the video. If we can get a one made, most Maine television stations will be willing and able to air it. "A LITTLE BEDTIME STORY" by Jean Vermette Marsha turned slowly in her seat to face Frank straight on. His boyish grin seemed somehow strained and slightly insincere. Without saying a word, she reached into her purse, pulled out the revolver, and raised the muzzle to about an inch or so from the end of Frank's nose. His eyes crossed and the grin disappeared. "So, you want to have a little fun, huh? You want the ladies to put out for you so that you can have a good time. You want people to do for you so that you can get dressed up and go places and do things; but you don't want any of the responsibilities. Well, I'm afraid that's just not the way it works," she said, waving the muzzle back and forth a little to accentuate her words. "Now that I have your attention, let me tell YOU something. This support group isn't here for the pleasure of taking care of you. It's here to give you the chance to help yourself. How do you suppose that that's going to happen?" When Frank didn't respond she poked the end of his nose with the muzzle and said, "That was a question." Frank's eyes uncrossed, and for a moment he looked into the searching gaze of her dark brown peepers surrounded by those beautiful, long lashes. "Uuhm...uuhm...by...ah...taking responsibility for my own needs?" he asked, hoping against hope that it was the kind of answer she was looking for. She smiled sweetly and batted her eyelids. "I knew you weren't stupid. Now, how are you going to take responsibility for your own needs?" He thought for a moment. "Well, I...guess...by... you know...uuhm...using the group for suggestions and support for the decisions *I* make rather than waiting for them to...ah...make decisions for me." "Now you're getting into the swing of things!" she said with a little purr in her voice. "And in order to get that support you need to actually make decisions and act on them, right?" Frank nodded vigorously. "What else can you do?" "Well...uuhm...I suppose I could be more active ...uuhm, in the group. I could...ah...take on some duties and, kind of actively participate." "Kind of?" asked Marsha, holding the revolver a little steadier and raising her eyebrows a bit. "No, no, really," exclaimed Frank, raising his hands and waving them back and forth a little, "I could REALLY be active in the group! I could be helping other members!" "It's so much better to give than to receive, isn't it?" asked Marsha. "Absolutely!" said Frank. "And when we give to others we get so much more in return, don't we?" "That's what my mother always told me!" "Your mother was a sensitive and caring woman. But then, most women are sensitive and caring. I think that's why men want to emulate them." "You think so?" asked Frank, forgetting the revolver for a moment. "Isn't that why you're here?" asked Marsha seriously. "You know, sometimes I just get SO upset! I mean, all these people come and want to join the group and feed us all this bull about wanting to get in touch with their feminine selves, and all they ever do is sit on the butts and say 'me, me, me'! How can they ever expect to become sensitive and caring if all they every care about is themselves?!" She was gesturing wildly and waving the pistol around with abandon. Frank was cringing and trying to duck at the same time. "Look," he said, trying to calm her down, "maybe it's not quite as clear cut as that. I mean, maybe sometimes people don't step forward because they feel like...well... like they're being put off. Just last week I made a suggestion to Clarisse and she brushed me aside." "Did you think she was wrong in doing so?" asked Marsha. "Yes, I did!" he replied. "Well, then, why didn't you speak up? Clarisse isn't dictator here, no one is. This is everyone's group, everyone is equal, and EVERYONE needs to pitch in and help if it's going to survuve. You want it to survive, don't you? I mean, how are you going to get any support from the group if the group isn't even here because you sat on your duff and kept you mouth shut?" she asked, poking him in the chest several times with the revolver as though it were a finger. "OK, OK," exclaimed Frank, closing his eyes and expecting the worst, "I get the point! I'm going to be more active in the group! I'm going to start being responsible for my own growth! Now will you please put that thing away before it goes off?!" "Off?" asked Marsha, looking at the gun as though she had just noticed it. She shrugged her shoulders. "I doubt it would," she said, putting it back in her purse. "It's out of water." Love, Jean Vermette *********************************** The greatest art is to lead an ordinary life in an extraordinary manner. -Buddhist Proverb ***********************************

January 2000

From The Desk Of The President... Hi TransSupporters: Tracy has done a splendid job with the cruise and you should invite someone if you cannot come yourselves- see someone else who might enjoy this special time with others in the GLBiTG and hetero community at large. I have been reaching out with flyers and contacts in the Portland area gay bars as well as other allies in the GLBiTG community, to invite all who will, to cruise with us. If there isn't a proper turnout for this important meeting we will reschedule our elections for the 15th of January in Portland at the SPEAKOUT venue. I need to have as many of you as can come, especially those of us who are or who have been board members in the last 5 years. I would welcome past presidents of TransSupport - Rick and Jean V, and of course Marti is always a welcome and wise person that I would be thrilled, should she come. I also would expect Jean T., Robin, Tracy and Seth, Paula and his wife representing SOs and perhaps some of you that haven't come lately to a meeting -Deb P? We need your valued input NOW, for there is no later for TransSupport. Peace, Love and Tranquillity - this is what I wish each of you and your family & friends this new year and on into a new millennium. This peace comes I believe from us knowing ourselves and connecting to that higher power within that some of us call God, connecting in such a way that each in her/his own way knows God's Love for us and God's wish that each of us find that tranquillity from following the path laid out for each of us to be unique individuals. On a immediate note, our next meeting at Brunswick could be the last one there - TRANSSUPPORTERS ALERT - we need YOU to come there and decide our direction for the future of the group! So I invite all of you to come and represent us as TGs, SOs! I am hoping that the new year will show that we can grow and this new year we can plan together several events (certainly at warmer times for Maine) where we can both have fun and introduce ourselves to others who might have an interest in us. We need to be mixing with all communities, especially in light of the upcoming referendum this fall, when those of us who can, join in a SPEAKOUT effort to educate will do so, while those of us more in the closet will talk with those of our friends and family and co-workers with whom we are out about human rights for all. We cannot afford not to do our part as TG persons. Speaking of SPEAKOUT, I again invite those of you who don't know it to come out and join us at a Friday or Saturday night get together at the Portland office of Speakout which is located at 9 Dana Street, one block parallel to the Old Port Tavern and across the street from the new Old Port Bakery Restaurant, over Amigo's bar, on the same floor as the restaurant. We meet the first weekend of the month, but call me about this before you come. My temporary number is 774-3066 Sun-Thurs. Around supper time is usually a good time to reach me, on those days. I love you all, and have been honored to serve as President and Vice President of TransSupport over the past 5 years since I joined. - Antoinette Pezet

Trans2000 Celebration! Last chance to buy your tickets for the New Year's Cruise, with a professional DJ (dancing & karyoke), refreshments, and a cash bar, and fireworks, over Casco Bay, at midnight. All members are encouraged to attend and to help get the word to the G.L.T. all over New England. Ticket Prices: $25.- Per Person / $10.- Member Price Public Awareness Push Antoinette is looking for help from one or two members, to make a video PSA (public service announcement) for TransSupport. If we can get a one made, most Maine television stations will be willing and able to air it. Focus Groups Schedule Portland: Focus On Living "OUT" 1st Sat. of month 5pm "SpeakOut" office , at 9 Dana St. (above 'Amigos Restaurant'). Call Antoinette at 774-3066 Call Antoinette at 774-3066 for more info. Standish: Focus On Transgender Couples Issues 3rd Saturday of month at 12 noon. Call Tracy, at 642-6023 for location. Next meeting scheduled for January 15, 2000.